Finding out more and more everyday...
Well I have been a 7th grade science teacher for two full school weeks and two days now. I feel like it's some milestone I've achieved every Friday when I walk out of the building. I survived.
I know that seems to be a horrible attitude. But I really don't think so. The first full week and the first part of this week were horrible, with an attitude to match. I kept asking myself, Am I sure this is what I'm supposed to do? Do I have to do this another 40 years? With every angry seventh grader, every paper I had to grade, and every second spent in my 85 degree classroom (our air conditioners are window units that were installed in 1984) I truly felt myself spiraling into self-pity. EVERY other job in the world seemed better. Even teaching other subjects seemed easier.
Because, let's face it, I'm the queen of thinking everyone else has it better/easier than me. But the truth is, they are walking around either thinking the same thing, or being grateful for the job/life they do have.
Funny thing is, the demographic of students I teach is inner-city title 1. Meaning every day I hear stories of parents in jail, parents committing suicide, siblings in gangs, etc. And here I am teaching these 12-year-olds dealing with things I've never had to deal with, thinking my life is hard?
Let's just say I got a good butt-kicking from my husband. I decided to make myself start taking care of myself. In my pity party, I had stopped running, started eating whatever sounded good, stopped cleaning (except bare minimum... dishes can only be avoided so many days... especially when you only have one skillet). Basically I was entertaining my sin. Feeding it. Yes Kara, you deserve this. Your life IS hard. Eat whatever you want. You've had a long day. Don't get up and jog... you deserve that extra twenty minutes of sleeping. You have an exhausting job.
Typing it now, I'm pretty embarrassed. How did I let myself become this person? It's so easy. Now that I've been making myself avoid my bed when I get home from work, get up when my alarm goes off, and eating baby carrots when I was Doritos (weird, right? I don't even like Doritos), I feel better. I come home and do things that need to be done, even if I don't want to. And it's more glorifying to God. He didn't give me this job so I could covet the lives of others. He gave it to me to sanctify me and make me more like His Son. And boy oh boy, is it sanctifying me. I am learning patience and grace every. single. second.
More to come soon!
In His name,
Kara Jo
A picture of Oscar for fun!
I know that seems to be a horrible attitude. But I really don't think so. The first full week and the first part of this week were horrible, with an attitude to match. I kept asking myself, Am I sure this is what I'm supposed to do? Do I have to do this another 40 years? With every angry seventh grader, every paper I had to grade, and every second spent in my 85 degree classroom (our air conditioners are window units that were installed in 1984) I truly felt myself spiraling into self-pity. EVERY other job in the world seemed better. Even teaching other subjects seemed easier.
Because, let's face it, I'm the queen of thinking everyone else has it better/easier than me. But the truth is, they are walking around either thinking the same thing, or being grateful for the job/life they do have.
Funny thing is, the demographic of students I teach is inner-city title 1. Meaning every day I hear stories of parents in jail, parents committing suicide, siblings in gangs, etc. And here I am teaching these 12-year-olds dealing with things I've never had to deal with, thinking my life is hard?
Let's just say I got a good butt-kicking from my husband. I decided to make myself start taking care of myself. In my pity party, I had stopped running, started eating whatever sounded good, stopped cleaning (except bare minimum... dishes can only be avoided so many days... especially when you only have one skillet). Basically I was entertaining my sin. Feeding it. Yes Kara, you deserve this. Your life IS hard. Eat whatever you want. You've had a long day. Don't get up and jog... you deserve that extra twenty minutes of sleeping. You have an exhausting job.
Typing it now, I'm pretty embarrassed. How did I let myself become this person? It's so easy. Now that I've been making myself avoid my bed when I get home from work, get up when my alarm goes off, and eating baby carrots when I was Doritos (weird, right? I don't even like Doritos), I feel better. I come home and do things that need to be done, even if I don't want to. And it's more glorifying to God. He didn't give me this job so I could covet the lives of others. He gave it to me to sanctify me and make me more like His Son. And boy oh boy, is it sanctifying me. I am learning patience and grace every. single. second.
More to come soon!
In His name,
Kara Jo
A picture of Oscar for fun!
Not an excuse, but everyone does have those days. Myself included. Thanks I needed to hear this! : )
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