Obedience is HARD.

I am currently reading Hinds' Feet on High Places (which I know everyone else has read but I'm late to the game). The particular edition I'm reading has an explanation of the allegory from the author at the beginning... in it she says,

         "The only way is by learning to accept, day by day, the actual conditions and tests permitted by God, by a continually repeated laying down of our own will and acceptance of his as it is presented to us in the form of the people with whom we have to live and work, and in the things which happen to us. Every acceptance of his will becomes an altar of sacrifice, and every such surrender and abandonment of ourselves to his will is a means of furthering us on the way to the High Places to which he desires to bring every child of his while they are still living on earth."

Ok, I know that was a lengthy quote. What I really want to emphasize is that laying down our will and accepting His will is sacrifice.

This isn't the easiest stage of life that I've had... and it's going to get harder. We strongly believe that it is my role as a wife and mother to stay home with my son. I NEVER EVER was going to be this person. I didn't want to have children. I didn't like them. I would never stay around them all day long.

But here I am. Jeff is in a job that allows him to work as many hours as he wants, which many of his coworkers do. But I want him to be here at dinner time, with Chief and I, as a family.

When you're a teacher, your check is split up over 12 months.

So, August's check will be my last check from my teaching job last year.

We will become a one-income family.

We will not have things we want. But we will learn to live on a little.

I am not looking forward to this stage of life but I know it is a season for growing and that this stage is necessary for sancitification.

Praying for courage and faith. I believe, help my unbelief.