Small Houses and Discontentment
We live in a small house.
I won't pretend it's the smallest house, though. We used to live in a two-bedroom apartment and that was pretty small. The largest table we could fit in the "dining room" had four chairs and, anytime I was pregnant, it was a tiiiiiight squeeze. Even so, we lived there with two adults, two children and a dog and seemed to get along just fine.
When we moved into our current home, it seemed gargantuan. We had a washer and dryer! We had a back yard! There were multiple closets, an attic, and a GARAGE! We were living large! Think of the possibilities! It was 1300 square feet of precious space for raising children, hosting friends for dinner, and creating a home.
A short three-and-a-half years and two more children later and the subtle dripping of discontentment has wormed its way in. I have found it to be true in my life that God likes to reveal my sin and discontentment by way of having other people point it out. When I am pregnant, it seems every random grocery shopper and their toddler needs to comment on how BIG I am. So, it was an opportunity to work it out with God that my body was the size it needed to be to grow and nourish the child with which He was blessing me. There was a season when it seemed like several people commented on my need to give unsolicited advice, and the Lord worked that out, too.
So, here we are. Lately, it feels as if multiple people have commented on the smallness of my home. Now, most of those people were saying it endearingly, but they said it nevertheless. And, the thoughts begin...
My children wouldn't fight as often if we lived in a larger home.
I could host families for dinner and play dates more comfortably if we had a play room.
My children could expand their creativity if they had a space to leave out their art.
I could host baby showers if we just had more space.
If we had an extra room for homeschooling, I could be more organized.
Lie after lie on replay in my mind. The old lie of, "if I had this, my life would be better." I've seen it play out with friends in seasons of singleness, infertility, parenting young children, difficult marriages, etc. It's always really obvious to point out, then, but here I sit in my home that the Lord blessed us with daydreaming that all of my "problems" (sin) would magically disappear if we only had 1000 more square feet.
So, like with all sin, I go to battle. And, what better way to battle discontentment than with gratitude? Sure, there are probably some practical tips to better organizing my small space or for hosting groups with limited chairs, but the real work needs to first happen in my heart. What has the Lord given me and what has he called me to do? I am equipped today to be faithful in all that He has before me. I can homeschool in this house. I can make disciples in this house. I can show the love of Christ through hospitality in this house. Not in a future house. In the one I sit in today... with its ugly tile and hand-me-down furniture. This exact house. With legos in every corner and finger paint on every wall. This is the house in which I can faithfully obey. This is the house in which God's word proves true and is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
The second half of Proverbs 12:20 says that, "those who plan peace have joy." If I am sitting around discontentedly bemoaning my circumstances, I have no room for planning peace in this space. Lack of joy begets lack of joy. But, with gratitude and obedience, I can take steps to cultivate a home of peace so that all who enter can experience joy.
So, how is the Lord working on your heart today?
I won't pretend it's the smallest house, though. We used to live in a two-bedroom apartment and that was pretty small. The largest table we could fit in the "dining room" had four chairs and, anytime I was pregnant, it was a tiiiiiight squeeze. Even so, we lived there with two adults, two children and a dog and seemed to get along just fine.
When we moved into our current home, it seemed gargantuan. We had a washer and dryer! We had a back yard! There were multiple closets, an attic, and a GARAGE! We were living large! Think of the possibilities! It was 1300 square feet of precious space for raising children, hosting friends for dinner, and creating a home.
A short three-and-a-half years and two more children later and the subtle dripping of discontentment has wormed its way in. I have found it to be true in my life that God likes to reveal my sin and discontentment by way of having other people point it out. When I am pregnant, it seems every random grocery shopper and their toddler needs to comment on how BIG I am. So, it was an opportunity to work it out with God that my body was the size it needed to be to grow and nourish the child with which He was blessing me. There was a season when it seemed like several people commented on my need to give unsolicited advice, and the Lord worked that out, too.
So, here we are. Lately, it feels as if multiple people have commented on the smallness of my home. Now, most of those people were saying it endearingly, but they said it nevertheless. And, the thoughts begin...
My children wouldn't fight as often if we lived in a larger home.
I could host families for dinner and play dates more comfortably if we had a play room.
My children could expand their creativity if they had a space to leave out their art.
I could host baby showers if we just had more space.
If we had an extra room for homeschooling, I could be more organized.
Lie after lie on replay in my mind. The old lie of, "if I had this, my life would be better." I've seen it play out with friends in seasons of singleness, infertility, parenting young children, difficult marriages, etc. It's always really obvious to point out, then, but here I sit in my home that the Lord blessed us with daydreaming that all of my "problems" (sin) would magically disappear if we only had 1000 more square feet.
So, like with all sin, I go to battle. And, what better way to battle discontentment than with gratitude? Sure, there are probably some practical tips to better organizing my small space or for hosting groups with limited chairs, but the real work needs to first happen in my heart. What has the Lord given me and what has he called me to do? I am equipped today to be faithful in all that He has before me. I can homeschool in this house. I can make disciples in this house. I can show the love of Christ through hospitality in this house. Not in a future house. In the one I sit in today... with its ugly tile and hand-me-down furniture. This exact house. With legos in every corner and finger paint on every wall. This is the house in which I can faithfully obey. This is the house in which God's word proves true and is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
The second half of Proverbs 12:20 says that, "those who plan peace have joy." If I am sitting around discontentedly bemoaning my circumstances, I have no room for planning peace in this space. Lack of joy begets lack of joy. But, with gratitude and obedience, I can take steps to cultivate a home of peace so that all who enter can experience joy.
So, how is the Lord working on your heart today?
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