Brain Space

It's 3:00 PM on a Monday afternoon and I just reheated my coffee from this morning in the microwave. Doesn't that feel so indicative of the stereotypical Monday? An all-out detox day from a weekend of indulgence and relaxation; a reminder to get "back to the grind" of hustling and producing... dishes and laundry wait for no one, meals must be made as people still have to eat, errands must be ran, emails should be answered... the expectations after a two day pause are seemingly insurmountable, even for me with my non-job job (hello, non sequitur!)

It's the first day of spring and, as Oklahoma would have it, it feels like early summer. My kids actually asked to go to the library as opposed to playing outside since it is, "too hot" when really all I want for them to do is play and let me sit and stare. I want to process my weekend and all of its events. I want to think about big decisions Jeff and I need to make and mentally plan my meals for the week... somehow my brain stopped being able to multitask almost five years ago when my oldest graced us with his screaming presence.

So, I have found, I just have to trust the Lord with all that will not get done... and that includes figuring things out. I want to sit and read and journal and pray and contemplate parenting and marriage. I want to be intentional about my relationships. But, apparently, God does not have that for me at the moment. So, this looks like me simply engaging my children. Their activities don't require a ton of brain activity (push the truck, scoop the sand, read the picture book, change the diaper, wipe the snotty nose) so the Lord has not given me a ton of brain function in this season.

So, if I seem a little spacey these days, I am honestly working with what I have... and learning to embrace it. I'll make elaborate meals in a different season of life, when I'm sure I'll no longer care about that. I'll do inductive studies of the minor prophets in the Old Testament and learn a foreign language. It's all there, waiting for me. But, for now? I will be in ill-fitting over-sized t-shirts, reheating hours-old coffee and reading Corduroy for the 78th time. Thankfully, that doesn't require too much brain space.